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"It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks"
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"Bring us your tired, your bored." ATTN: HABITUAL CONSUMERS Just wanna BUY the DAZZLING (not to mention CHEAP) NEW CD and dispense of the Propagandist Pomp? OR, support your first-rate indie retailers -- visit Electric Fetus (Mpls, St. Cloud) or Cheapo (Uptown Mpls, St. Paul & Fridley). Tell them Jon sent you. They will stare at you with much bewilderment.No disposable income? May we suggest shoplifting? |
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The much-anticipated (by Jon, at least) new record, Au Contraire, is in the works! Jon describes it as, "a cross between Led Zeppelin and The Smiths - both overtly sexual and extraordinarily repressed." Prepare for lots of foul language and crash-car-superstar riffage, fused with his ShyboyTM Sentimentality. Oh, yes, and it's stubbornly anti-Republican. Watch as well for his upcoming tour of all the suburban sports bars, which will surely skyrocket him into the uppermost echelons of rock-n-roll anonymity. Patrik Tanner & The Faraway Men Jon has joined up on guitar with Patrik and company (outlaws Mark Juenemann on bass and Brandon Fjetland on drums & hambone). They're also at work on their next release, tentatively titled Full Auto Shut Off. Lots of gloomy songs about mortality. Jon's been spending an inordinate amount of time on Ebay in an attempt to gussy them up, funeral-style, in slick, white leisure suits. Like their infamous recording sessions, the CD release party will likely take place within the confines of Patrik's glorious basement, where they're destined to remain Minnesota's best-kept rock-n-roll secret. Intrigued? Ask about their Eight-Point Statement of Mission. Radio Boycott Being a staunch revolutionary, Jon is boycotting all stations that don't play his stuff. Which means he's given up on radio altogether. Treatise To kill all remaining idle time, Jon is also hard at work on his newest sociological treatise, entitled, On the Mysterious Disappearance of "Roll" in Rock-n-Roll Music: America's Ornery Youth, an Oral History. Look for it soon at no bookstores near you. WANT AD, or "Crap Shoot of the 21st Century" Subject: Deluded Sinologist seeks Visionary Chinese Music Mogul Do you speak Chinese? So does Jon -- badly! Despite his considerable Maoist credentials, he's really no better than your average running dog, and therefore scrambling to peddle his shiny American wares in the Asian marketplace. Are you super-savvy when it comes to tapping the expanses of the www and penetrating the thorny corners of the PRC music scene? If so, Jon wants to join revolutionary forces with you! Write to him. He's terribly lonely and feeling the sting of post-industrial alienation. 
CHAIRMAN'S EDITORIAL: It is an arduous task to ensure a better life for rockstar wannabes, and to build their economically and culturally backward lives into prosperous and powerful ones with a high level of culture. And it is precisely in order to be able to shoulder this task more competently and work better with all non-Party people who are actuated by high ideals and determined to institute reforms that we must conduct rectification movements both now and in the future, and constantly rid ourselves of whatever is wrong.Until that glorious day comes, did you know that you can download mp3s of every Jon James album track for FREE? Our unbelievable (literally) pledge of purity & money-back guarantee. | ||
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©2003 Jon James |
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NEWS? WHAT NEWS?
True - Jon James & The Pinko Playboys are now defunct - but, inspired by the overwhelming success of reality-based programming, Jon has decided to give you a rare peek into the daily glamour of a true rock-n-roller's lifestyle.